SBTRKT - Problem (Solved) [ft. Jessie Ware]
Wonder Where We Land, 2014
Here’s the thing. I like this album. It’s growing on me. There are some standout tracks for sure (like this one), but this album was doomed before it even existed. That’s the problem with producing a ***Flawless debut album. Unless you are really on your game, you’ll never live up to that first shot (I’m looking at you, FrankMusik).
Retailers, to me.
Here fat girl, wear this shapeless gray sack shirt that comes down to your knees (because I know you want to cover up those big fat disgusting thighs of yours) and these flimsy “yoga” pants that basically look like you’re about to sit on the couch and destroy a pint of ice cream after a break up to workout in.
Yeah, no. We don’t make this in your size. This is for athletes who require high performance wear. You’re fat so you’re obviously not an athlete so, sorry ‘bout it.
We make what you want but we thought there were only like 8 fat girls who wanted to work out so we sold out, sorry ‘bout it.
I mean can’t a fat girl get some decent training gear so she can feel cute while she slays it at the rack? This has got me in the foulest mood today.
Keep Calm and Ratchet On
I am cultivating a playlist on Spotify called “Keep Calm and Ratchet On” which I plan to use for highway driving, weight lifting and any situation that requires some turn up.
The first (and, I think tone-setting) track is Fight Night by Migos. Any suggestions for songs to add?
Today I am the recipient of the self-congratulatory and smug “I Went to the Gym at 6 am and Was the First Person in the Office - What Have YOU Done Today" award.
To put this into perspective, just yesterday I was granted the “But Did You Really Just Eat Two Donuts at 8pm You Fat Fuck?" medal of honor.
First of all, this dude is likely overweight himself, and I am not saying that to shade him. Multiple studies have been done that show that people often underestimate their BMI - plenty of folks would label themselves as having a “normal” body when in fact, according to the current medical definitions of “normal”, they fat. So what this dude thinks 10 lbs overweight looks like is probably more like what 30 lbs overweight looks like. Secondly, I seriously doubt the same woman he’d find “sexy” at 125 lbs would suddenly become disgusting to him at 145 lbs. Like, those 20 lbs would just settle all in her neck. Like 50 chins. Back rolls. Having to get cut out of her bedroom because she’s too fat to get through the door.
I don’t even know why I wrote this post. It makes me look salty because some Brad doesn’t like fat chicks. I’m not. I’m just over dudes thinking that because they play recreational softball or bocce or some shit - despite their beer gut - that they have an athletic body and they deserve like, a professional CrossFitter as a partner.
Spank Rock - Assassin feat. Amanda Blank
So my roommate and I went on vacation last week and dropped in to a Crossfit box and immediately after the class hit up the gym’s website to find out the name of the coach and google his name and find his instagram and follow it. This all happened in a matter of about 15 minutes? Creepy?