Oh you know, just modeling the hell out of this janky sweater I made for a tacky holiday sweater party this weekend. Peep the uneven light placement. Peep the visual genius of a red gift box on a red sweater.
What I love most about this is that ugly sweater theme suits my laziness so well. I mean look at that tree. I could’ve made an even cut out. I could’ve put some god damn buttons and eyes and whatnot on the snowman. I could’ve sewn the pieces on with more than roughly 3 stitches each. But I didn’t. Because the jankier the better. But really because I’m just too lazy and I have episodes of Misfits to get caught up on.
Remember that time you saw The Sixth Sense and saw Donnie Wahlberg’s name in the opening credits and then the movie ended and you were like “But where was Donnie Wahlberg tho?” and then you saw his name and character in the ending credits and you were like “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!”?
There was a young woman on the Metro today in a ski bib… girl you are doing the most. You are extra. It’s not that cold and there is barely any snow on the ground. I mean even 8 inches of snow does not warrant a damn ski bib unless you crawled to the Metro.
I’m generally a Christmas music purist - I’d prefer to listen to 75 versions of the same “classic” songs than hear a contemporary artist’s sexy modern christmas songs. No. Ew.
I think the “newest” songs I consider to be Christmas classics are from ‘N Sync’s Home for the Christmas because duh, “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” is the Christmas jam to end all Christmas jams.
But for really real? I’m all about this song. Mainly because of Boyz II Men. Specifically because of Boyz II Men, actually.
Wait a minute why didn’t anyone tell me about the hot pack of special ops dudes from the Homeland episode two weeks ago???!?? Oh my sweet baby god.
I’m gonna need some fan fiction written ASAP.
ENOUGH WITH THE BITSTRIPS
Being charged with making a playlist is always stressful.
The task is especially daunting when it’s for a party where you don’t know most of the crowd. When I’m making a playlist for my friends, at least I know I can always please with esoteric hits such as “that song that we heard when we were at the thing” or “that song we always do at karaoke and sound fucking terrible doing it”.
But with a crowd of randoms, there’s no knowing. Do I stick with current top 40 hits? Will people be dancing or is it more of just a background music kind of playlist? Will it be a crowd of people who think Mumford & Sons or Bob Dylan is appropriate party music???
Knowing what people should be listening to (Lindsay Lowend - GT40, anything ever by Robyn) versus what they probably want to hear (Fun. - Some Nights - a song Matt insisted should be included if I at all care about the white party goers, Avicii - Wake Me Up, any dumb thing by Flo Rida, Pitbull, etc) is tough.
But really, the fact that I have to WONDER if Lisa Lisa & the Cult Jam tracks will go over well is just…
You know what my favorite thing is?
Men in their 30’s that think a n00d, or the lack there of, is worth severing a connection over. And the level of manipulation they try to employ just to get a picture of like, a butt that a) they have seen in person and b) is not the greatest and is subpar to the PLETHORA of butts readily available on the internet… astounding.
My god there is no hope for anyone let’s just all die together.