i wish i could find out what someone’s penis is like before i invest all of this time into them
Easy. Dick pic. Duh.
I’m perplexed by the overwhelming number of straight women who balk at the idea of dick pics. “Ew! Oh my god I don’t want to see that!” As if they go through life just tolerating dicks because they are a package deal with dudes. Girl if you don’t like dicks then maybe you need to reassess.
Dick pics are very useful. Sure, an unsolicited one, especially one that is out of the blue and not at all a logical progression in the text conversation, can be off-putting. Or like, one of those shots with no artistic value whatsoever. You know, the ones with terrible lighting or like, there’s a toilet seat in the shot. Barf.
But I personally welcome them. You know what you’re getting into and what’s getting into you. Or not getting into you. So much time saved.
I’ve watched the video of Jesse Williams’ critique of the coverage of the Michael Brown/Freguson issue a few times and while I agree with every single thing he says and like, I want to be really serious about this and focus on the things that matter, the whole time I’m just looking at him and thinking God damn boy… so pretty, so fine.
I. love. the. Anaconda. video. but the writeups I’ve been seeing keep referring to Drake as a co-star, which I think misses a big part of the point.
The reason this video rules is because Drake is an extra. Drake is a prop. Drake is a bro in the comfy-casual clothes that he rolled up to the set in, who has no lines or purpose other than the be ground upon, and whose face is obscured by shadows most of the time.
This is not a continuation of the Drake/Nicki/Rih media narrative. This is a dank-as-fuck feminist power play. This is, “Drake is whatever to me.” And this is a man who, if he isn’t at the top of his game, is close to it. A huge celebrity. And here is Nicki looking fucking amazing, tormenting him into a boner, then swatting his hand away and walking out of frame.
Your anaconda don’t want none unless she got buns, hun? Maybe she doesn’t want your anaconda. Maybe she’ll do whatever the fuck she wants with her buns, and it doesn’t matter what you think or feel.
Can someone invent a mirror that will show a gif while you look at yourself? Every morning when I get ready and I’m looking at myself thinking "I look maybe kinda cute today but am I cute enough?," I want to see the visual of Nicki driving this dude crazy then hair flipping out of the frame like whatever Drake or whatever your name is byeeeee. I want to aspire each day to do what I want and not give any amount of fucks what a dude thinks.