Hi, My Name is Kia.

Extremely Flawed Social Experiment: Day Four - Some Data for that Ass

[Previously: Day Three; Day One and Two; The Set Up]

Originally, I planned on writing a (probably ill-informed and majorly assumptive) screed about what men in the DC Metro area want and do and think (motherfuckers). But rather than assume, let’s look at some data to back up my two major “findings” (I’m such a good scientist it’s crazy - my notes? written on envelopes and Post-Its. Can a bitch get a gig teaching a research methods class or what?)

It was a no-brainer that Erin (Fake Me) would get far more responses and overall interest. So comparing numbers of profile views or messages isn’t really saying anything that we didn’t already know. Yesterday, I gave you guys a sampling of messages but again, you aren’t getting the full picture from my (possibly biased, but let’s be honest, not really) selection of message excerpts. So let’s really science this shit up with some DATA!

Finding #1 - Erin gets higher quality men. I love me a good graph, don’t you? These are the education levels of the 15 most recent men who messaged us.

Now, I know basing “quality” on what degree you have or don’t have is kind of, flawed - I know lots of people who are successful with no college education and some who are unemployed with multiple degrees. BUT we all know there is a real correlation between education level and intelligence, success, income and so on.

So what do we have here?

Erin’s dudes are rocking the shit out of higher learning. 7 have Master’s degrees. There’s a frigging DOCTOR trying to get a piece. Her least educated suitor is currently in college.

More than half of my suitors didn’t finish or never even attempted college. 3 didn’t even bother listing their education level which can not be a good thing.

Finding #2 - Erin is worth more effort than me.

These numbers don’t look so bad, do they? I mean, according to this chart, you’d think that I’ve won the wordy message war, right? Well, these numbers represent Erin’s 5 LEAST wordy messages and my 5 MOST wordy. That’s right my second most wordy message contains only 11 more words that Erin’s second least wordy.

Most of Erin’s messages were in the high 100’s. These guys actually read her profile and took the time to write a real message. Even her least wordy message (*) was a short little quip that responded directly to something mentioned in the profile. And my most wordy (**), that 288-word opus? Well that was the message I mentioned yesterday that was a copy and paste job meant for a Craigslist ad response. The lowest amount of effort possible. Great. Thanks dude.

I’m thinking about doing one more installment of this depressing yet highly entertaining mess. I’ll pick 3 or 4 guys that have messaged Erin, probably the ones who seem the most enthusiastic about her (my) humor and interests. I will message them from my real profile, with no mention of the experiment. Will they respond? Will they bother to read my profile? Will they notice the striking similarities between the profiles? Dun dun DUNNNNNNN!!!

[Day Five and Beyond]