agirlacity asks:

I am a fat chick who is not even remotely attractive by conventional standards, and yet. I have had multiple dates, one-night-stands, and long-term relationships with guys I’ve met on OkCupid.

Have you considered the idea that this same experiment with people who have a less abrasive personality might have completely different results?

Also… consider this. You are talking to a dude who seems cool. He’s relatively funny, not terrible looking, and you’re thinking “hey, maybe I’ll meet this person. Then he says “oh by the way, my profile pictures are a lie. I’m not who I said I am. I am, in fact, someone else and I’m just doing an ‘experiment’.” Would you say “oh, that’s fine because I like you for who you are? Or would you say… “Wow. You are fucking crazy, and not only that, but you’re a liar.” And then maybe find any excuse not to talk to them?

Also, open mindedness is kind of important when approaching these sorts of ventures. If you’re willing to come at online dating with persistence and an open mind I can almost guarantee you will get some nooky (at the very least) out of it. Hell, even Craigslist can work if you give it a fair shot.

Your experiment was self-admittedly flawed but you still presented your conclusions as being, well, conclusive. People read that and make assumptions about online dating, which is discouraging enough as it is! (I know because I have been doing it on and off for years, and it is almost as difficult as real dating). So… do you feel bad about that at all?

Hmm….not sure what you mean by “people who have a less abrasive personality” - if you’re referring to me or the OKCupid dudes, but I can only assume you mean me. I’ve never thought of my personality as abrasive. No, I’m not a demure geisha batting my eyelashes and bowing before men but that doesn’t make me abrasive. No, I can’t really be described as “sweet” or some other poncy word that describes how women should act. In fact, I’m pretty aggressive. But that doesn’t make me abrasive. Or maybe it does, I don’t know. I certainly didn’t consider what the results would be like if I had a different personality because I don’t. I have my personality and that’s all I’m concerned about.

Regarding your second question, you must be under the impression that I engaged in conversation with the guys under false pretenses, strung them along and THEN dropped the bomb. This isn’t the case. All of the guys to whom I revealed the 411, I told them immediately upon contact. They IMed, I told them the deal. Integrity, I has it.

Regarding your third question - what’s there to feel bad about? That I expressed an opinion that online dating sucks? Why would I ever feel BAD about that? It’s not like I’m hurting OKCupid’s nonexistent feelings. Further, I never made any real conclusions. The only thing I concluded was:

“If this experiment holds true, the best I can hope for is a romance with an illiterate yokel with whom I share nothing in common, which is pretty fucking bleak.”

Are you asking if I feel bad that this statement is a blight on the reputation of online dating? Well if the people reading my “experiment” actually READ it, they would know that Fake Me’s online dating experience was damn near fabulous. MY experiences sucked. MINE. So again I ask, what is there to feel bad about?