Look, I don’t want to be that technologically-dependent American asshole who moans about the loss of some trivial functionality when there are bigger fucking fish to fry in the world; polar bears are drowning and Taiwanese children are slaving to make sneakers and such. I get it.

But I can’t scroll up and I’m about to jump out of a FUCKING window.

I adore just about everything our lord and savior Steve Jobs bequeaths us with, but the Mighty Mouse is pretty much a stupid piece of white garbage. I’d rather use a PC mouse any day over this junk.