GPOYW, A Story of Complete and Utter Boredom as told by Photobooth.

Preface: So earlier I was in my kitchen putting things in the dishwasher. One of these things was a pair of tongs. I don’t know about you, but whenever I have tongs in my hand I clank them together repeatedly. Apparently, the rate at which I was tongs-clanking was exactly that of Kanye’s “Power” so of course I spent like 30 seconds doing the beat with the tongs while I sang “A-aaaaaay, uh uh. A-aaaaaaay, uh uh.”

1. I thought that was a funny story to blog about so I opened photobooth and snapped an accompanying picture.

2. I was kind of embarrassed for myself so I had a sit down to think about my actions.

3. I got thirsty and had some orange juice.

4. I couldn’t, in good conscience, wrap up this unnecessary photobooth session without displaying my actual, true-to-life chin count.

Yeah, I don’t know, either. God I miss cigarettes.

So, right, I was going to take a picture of myself with my hair all crazy like and ‘shop Aang into it and call it “The Last Hairbender” but then I was like, eh.

This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. iPhone AND a USA win. Praise.

Candles in an ice cream cake: bad idea or the best idea?

So I did a thing with my hair that is kinda cute, kinda… velociraptor.

Work the runway with your wrinkled ass shirt, girl.

Excuse me as I kiss the sky

Oh my way to see Hov. FuhREE seats in a box courtesy of Rooseter. My facial expression is like that cuz I’m super sarcastic, get it?

Ladies is pimps too.

GPOYXbox Live Avatar Wednesday.

Since my roommate and I both own the Xbox, I created an avatar that looks nothing like either of us. But really, does it matter? You can not step to this guy. Facepaint, nasty sweatshorts, some killer ass high tops, fingerless gloves, ironic Trucker cap…

You can’t handle it so just stop trying.

Also let’s be Xbox Live friends!

GPOYW

My boss brought his dog Max to work. I keep trying to take a picture of him but he runs out of the frame RIGHT as the photo is snapping. Every. Time. This is the most of Max I could get in picture.

Also, don’t say shit about how my scarf doesn’t match my sweater.

GPOYW - Official Work Headshot

Do you guys like how I really brought my A game?  Let’s talk about the hair and check out that fucking collar, flopping all over the place. Jesus be an iron* and a can of spray starch.

*I never iron shit. I’m shabby chic, ok? That’s my personal brand. Deal with it. Or just shabby… whatever ironing is for suckers. BYE.

GPOYW

How to properly display the Communist Party Tee in a bathroom.

How not to.

GPOYW - Homophone Edition

Say hello to the Kea, an indigenous bird to the South Island of New Zealand. When Vicky returned from Middle Earth she brought back this little guy for me.