People are still trying to step to me via my ask box and I don’t know why and I am not for it so I’m just gonna go ahead and make myself feel better
To quote Sade:
“My vagina clenched. I inadvertently did kegels.”
I could craft some post for which this gif is an appropriate addition or post script. But I just kinda need to put this here. For no reason at all. I could get lost in those unnervingly white teeth. It’s like a light calling me to heaven. A heaven where pig and wolf and human DNA have been successfully combined. Can you take me higher? To a place where blind men see. Can you take me higher? To a place with golden streets.
I just put Creed lyrics in a blog post. You guys things are a little weird for me right now so just… just don’t say anything.
Lord.
The vapors, I has them. SHUT UP EVERYONE. Don’t say a word about his tiny squinty eyes. Don’t even talk about that stupid llama/alpaca side-by-side photo. You’d bang him and don’t even try to lie about it.
Oh. Okay.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Taylor Lautner will be legal in 10 days. The Bone Zone will be open for business in Arizona, California, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, North Dakota, Oregon, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin and Wyoming.
And how do you feel about this, Taylor?
Excellent.
Yup. Yes. Mhmm.
As much as I complain about my job, I must admit that I love working in an office where I can receive such UNPROFESSIONAL and sick (and awesome) shit in the mail and not get fired.
Just to be clear, someone paid a dollar of postage to send me a page of a magazine. And as awesome as a ripped out page of a teen mag with some Taylor Lautner pedo abs is, finding out that Nick Jonas is on the back of the page is just… well… I’m FILLED with the Christmas spirit right now.
FILLED.
And just sos you know, the filename of this photo on my desktop is XXXMAS.jpg.
Hey everyone, I wrote something. Guess what it's about... that's right, a hot teenager. I am fit to write about nothing else.
Me and Pedobear, now we’re up in the big leagues, getting our turn at bat.
The AWL is an enabler.
T minus 15 minutes until the Lautner Incident ‘09: Disaster at Studio 8H
Y’all…I’m so scurred.
I’m pretty sure SNL is going to be a disaster tomorrow, but could anything be worse than the January Jones episode? This one has the potential to do just that. I’m terrified. I just pray they pop that shirt off at least once.
Oh god, think about what the monologue will be like. I’m watching on mute. The entire show I mean.
Oh, you squinty-eyed little thing, mama loves you.
5y;’[[[aor3;q8y6qr22////’;;;qqqqqqqq
Lord god in heaven christ almighty king jesus jehova yaweh, please remove these unclean thoughts from my BRAIN.
(via The Frisky/Amelia)
I Die. I DIE.
And I’m talking about the Shakespearean version of “die” OKAY?
I wish I could embed an audio clip into my photo posts because right now you’d be hearing TAKE MY BREATH AWAAAAAAAY.
I can’t even… I don’t…
I’m here to inform you that the HQ version is even less holy. I mean, you can’t fight the devil if you don’t carefully, very carefully examine his evil close up, now can you?
